


The Best Gifts Come in Department Store Packages

by sideoftea (orphan_account)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Fluff, Holidays, LGBT Christmas, No Spoilers, POV Third Person, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Romance, Shopping, dimiclaude, hildamari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21968677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sideoftea
Summary: Hilda has left all her holiday shopping to the last minute, and drags along her best friend, Claude, to brave the chaos of the local mall. There, she runs into Marianne, a department store clerk who helps her find a truly incredible gift.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	The Best Gifts Come in Department Store Packages

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modern, holiday-themed AU featuring characters from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. The characters are around their post-timeskip age, if not a bit older. The setting is a fictional city in modern-day United States. Mostly features hildamari and some dimiclaude. 
> 
> This fic is intentionally VERY cheesy as I wanted to give it a holiday romcom type feel. Hope y'all enjoy and happy holidays! :)
> 
> RATED TEEN AND UP: Strong language.

A merciless flurry began berating the city of Garregsburg, adding salt to the wound of all the last-minute holiday shoppers scrambling to buy their loved ones obligatory presents. The Macuil Mall, the largest of the city’s four shopping centers, was swarming with folks hoping to get their relatives something a bit better than a gas station gift card. Roads were backed up, the mixture of a short day and high winds causing for low visibility. Several close calls happened among the drivers, all impatiently trying to finish errands or reach their destinations before conditions worsened. 

“Fuck you, dude!” Hilda’s outburst was emphasized with a swift, aggressive press on the car horn. The offender in front had swerved into her lane with very little room, forcing Hilda to slam on the brakes of her 2001 Subaru Outback. Claude was breathing heavily in the passenger seat, anxiously gripping the handle that was secured to the roof of the car, a very common occurrence whenever Hilda got behind the wheel.

“Can you believe this asshole? He cut me off!” Hilda complained, throwing her hand out in front of her.

“We won’t make it to Christmas in one piece at this rate. Could you maybe slow down?” 

“We are on a time crunch! I still have so much shopping to do.”

“Not to be that guy, but you could have done it earlier.”

“I was busy!”

“Calling in sick to your job three days in a row?”

“Hey! The flu is going around.” Claude just laughed in response, shaking his head. “Look. You wouldn’t understand. You’re lucky your family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. This shit’s stressful.”

“We prefer to express our love with our actions and support of one another, not with fancy knife-sets and overpriced candles.”

“Trust me. I’ve tried to convince them. I would give anything to persuade my family to chill out with the holiday consumerism.”

“Well, guess I have no choice but to help.”

“Thank you,” Hilda huffed, her frustration deteriorating, “I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“Just don’t kill us. That’s good enough for me.”

“Aren’t you going to get something for Dimitri?”

“Eh, maybe I could use your help with that. I have no idea what to get him. It’s so hard to think of something that doesn’t come off as ingenuine.”

“This is Dimitri we are talking about. You could probably spit on the guy and he would think it was the best present anyone ever gave him.”

“Nah, I already did that last night.”

“Ew! You’re so gross.” Claude maniacally giggled to himself as Hilda whipped into the first parking spot she laid her eyes on. “Alright. We’re going in,” Hilda smirked, miming herself speaking into an imaginary walkie-talkie.

“If I don’t make it, tell my mom I love her,” Claude confided, joining in on the act.

The mall was what Hilda would crudely describe as a capitalist’s wet dream. Screaming children attempted to look into shopping bags that carried their presents, only to be fought off by their parents. Seniors carried bundles of scarves, hats, and blankets in every color from the “buy one, get one” sales. Giant hordes of teenagers, who usually rose hell in the mall when school wasn’t in session, were actually making purchases for once. Claude latched onto the sleeve of Hilda’s cream-colored pea coat.

“Oh dear god. Is it too late to turn back?”

“Stay with me Claude. We can do this,” Hilda ensured. The look in her eyes expressed doubt, but she pressed forward anyway, with Claude clinging to her like a needy puppy. They bopped between stores dodging the intense shoppers like they were in some weird holiday-themed zombie apocalypse scenario. They even had the appropriate background music, with the mall blasting strange 80s and 90s covers of classic carols through rusty speakers. Eventually they ducked into one of the mall’s large department stores, its clearance shelves ransacked and several products tipped over or broken.

“Okay. The last things I need should all be here,” Hilda sighed, exasperated.

“Great. Then we can visit a priest so I can exorcise the holiday spirit right out of me.”

“Oh, it isn’t that bad, Claude! We are actually doing better than I thought.”

“Yeah… maybe you’re right…” Claude trailed off, eyeing the food court that materialized to their left.

“Good. Glad you’re holding up. Now we should find the toy aisle first and then-” Hilda paused, no longer feeling her friend’s tug on her sleeve. “Uh, Claude? Claude?! Where did he-? God damn it, I don’t have time for this!” Hilda charged forward into the store, grabbing for anything that looked remotely like a good gift. It was her best strategy to combat the madness: collect first, decide what to buy later. It turned out she had a knack for navigating stores. She settled on a cute dollhouse for her niece, the last of its kind, previously obscured behind some building-block sets. For her mother, an ornate bottle of perfume that she wrestled away from a beastly middle-aged woman. And finally for her grandfather, a state-of-the-art tackle box for his next fishing trip. Claude had little issue catching back up to her, the shock of her pink hair serving as a beacon to her location.

“There you are! Where the hell did you go?”

“I wanted a cinnamon roll,” Claude informed, stuffing another chunk of the half-eaten pastry into his mouth.

“Ugh.”

“I gotff youmph whun tooh,” Claude said, mouth full, handing her a sticky bag covered in melted icing.

“Uh, thanks… I’ll just, um, save it for later.” Hilda shoved the bag into her coat pocket. She took a few steps towards the register, then froze in her tracks. “Oh dear God.”

“What's wrong?”

“I forgot about my brother! I didn’t get anything for Holst!” Hilda panicked, grabbing Claude by the shoulders.

“It’s okay Hilda! We still have time.”

“ _Attention shoppers. There are ten-minutes left until the mall closes. Please take all final purchases to the register. Thank you, and happy holidays,”_ The mall’s intercom spat out statically, as if on cue.

“Motherfucker,” Hilda spat, and began borderline sprinting through the aisles, desperate for Holst’s dream gift to jump out at her. Claude struggled along behind her, choking down the last of his pastry. Shapes and colors of picked-over gifts blurred by in Hilda’s vision, until she glanced up to see a sign descending from the ceiling that labeled the next aisle to contain board and card games. She deftly turned heel and rushed into the aisle, painfully knocking right into a store clerk. Hilda stumbled forward with momentum before falling hard onto her shoulder, while the unlucky roadblock crumpled onto her back. Claude turned the corner just in time to see the carnage’s aftermath.

“Holy shit. Are you okay?” Claude bent down to the clerk, who was attempting to regain her composure.

“I- Yes. I-I’m fine.” She brushed a mess of blue hair away from her face before accepting Claude’s hand to bring her back to her feet. Hilda remained writhing on the ground.

“Ow! That smarts. You should watch where you’re going!”

“I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to be in your way.”

“Well you were!”

“Hilda!” Claude scolded, now helping her up, “You shouldn’t have been running through the aisle at breakneck speed.”

“Please accept my apologies ma’am, is there anything I can do?” The clerk murmured. 

“No, no. I should be the one apologizing,” Hilda muttered, glancing up at the person she almost sent to the hospital. She was subtle beauty, with impossibly smooth skin and eyes that flickered around like flames on small candles. Hilda’s eyes widened, admiring the way her long hair fell sheepishly against her shoulders. “I- er- uh- hm...” Hilda stammered, suddenly frozen.

“Um, Earth to Hilda?” Claude snapped his fingers in front of her face.

“Y-yes! I would actually love your help… Marianne,” Hilda remarked, catching the clerk’s name inscribed on a small name placard. 

“Who, um, who are you shopping for?”

“My brother. He’s a fan of strategy games.”

“Sure- sure right this way.” Marianne gestured for the two to follow her to the end of the aisle, where about a dozen board games miracuously remained intact. “How about this? It, uh, it uses a lot of strategy… I think.”

“I’m not sure,” Hilda muttered, holding onto the copy of Jenga, “I think he would like something more intricate.”

“Oh, okay. Would this do?”

“Battleship? A little obvious, don’t you think?”

“You’re totally right. I’m sorry! Ugh, I just can’t do anything right!”

“Woah, woah! It’s okay! Don’t beat yourself up. I mean, you don’t even know my brother. It’s not fair for me to ask this of you.”

“Wow. Hilda not expecting someone to do something for her? You must be pretty special,” Claude chimed in, and Hilda promptly glared daggers at him in response. She continued to scan the shelves, not daring to look Marianne in the face.

“Wait. Here we go! Maybe it’s a little on the nose, but I’ve heard good things about this one,” Marianne chirped.

“Stratego! Good find! Holst will love that,” Claude agreed.

“Oh that’s perfect! Thank you, thank you!” Hilda threw her arms around Marianne, utterly relieved that her holiday shopping trip from hell was drawing to a close.

“I will uh, I can ring you up over here.” Marianne shyly turned away, taken aback by Hilda’s immense gratitude. Hilda and Claude followed her to the counter where the last customers were finishing their transactions. The manager could be seen at the store’s entrance, impatiently waiting to close the gate to the store, likely having been there since nine-o-clock that morning. Marianne fumbled to scan the items as quickly as she could, nearly dropping and breaking the perfume bottle. When she got to the board game she audibly gasped.

“Oh no, what’s wrong?” Hilda quiered.

“There’s no scan code on here. I don’t think I can ring it up.”

“Crud.”

“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin your brother’s Christmas,” Marianne started, her eyes beginning to tear up, weary from a long day of dealing with rude customers.

“Not at all! Listen. I appreciate you being so eager to help me. It’s my fault for procrastinating. He will just have to be happy with Battleship.” Hilda reached out, giving Marianne’s hand a reassuring squeeze. She began to jog back to the board games before Marianne reached out to stop her.

“Hold on,” Marianne whispered and glanced around shiftily, “Here. Take it.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Happy holidays,” Marianne nodded.

“Yo! You are awesome!” Claude whooped, offering her a high five which she accepted, blushing.

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“I’ll distract my boss. That way you can slip out without anyone bothering you about it.” The schemers finished the transaction for the other items, and Marianne mimed scanning the board game before placing it in a bag. 

“At least take this,” Hilda reached into her coat pocket and placed the smashed cinnamon roll in front of her. “It’s not much, but it’s my way of saying thanks.” Marianne couldn’t help but laugh a little at the absurd sincerity, as she walked towards her boss. Seeing Marianne brighten up caused Hilda to become transfixed once again, her mouth hanging agape. Claude, understanding that bringing her out of the trance was hopeless, pulled her by the arm. He cautiously eyed Marianne and the manager, hearing the clerk mention something about a bunch of broken glass in one of the aisles. 

“Not again, Marianne!” the woman groaned, storming off away from the door. The pair of friends quickly dipped out of the department store and around the corner, but not before catching Marianne usher a small wave to them. Claude and Hilda were silent all the way back to the car, the former thinking of all the ways he was going to mercilessly tease his best friend. They reached the parking lot and climbed, shivering, into Hilda’s Subaru.

“Mission accomplished,” Claude winked at his friend.

“Claude…”

“And I just heard from the boss that we got a new mission.”

“Claude.”

“We failed to give Marianne your number, so we gotta go back.”

“Claude!” Hilda whined, banging her head on the steering wheel.

“You could hardly speak! Probably thinking of all the romantic dates you would go on.”

“Please stop.”

“I can see it now. You taking her by the hand to the top of a hill to a starlit picnic. You brush her hair out of her face and give her a big ole smooch.”

“Knock it off!”

“It’s only fair. You never stopped teasing me when I started crushing on Dimitri.”

“Just drop it. It’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“I hardly know her!”

“That’s why you ask her on a date. So you can get to know her.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. We were just flustered from all the stress.”

“Fine. But I don’t want to hear you complain about being a third-wheel around us anymore.” They remained silent for a moment, the car engine rattling harshly in an attempt to warm up.“Hey. I thought it was really sweet how kind you were to her.”

“Oh, I just figured she probably dealt with enough today.”

“Still. She probably wouldn’t have let just anyone take that board game for free.”

“Hm.” Hilda pulled out of the parking space, and began driving down the highway to Claude’s apartment. They rode in silence, listening to a local radio station playing jazzy instrumental covers of holiday songs. After a bit Hilda spoke up again. “Alright. I’ll give it a shot.”

\- - -

A couple of days had passed since Christmas, much to Marianne’s delight. She looked forward to these next few shifts in which work would surely be dead, and she could focus on doing inventory in the back warehouse by herself. Her keys jingled merrily as they found the gate lock on the department store’s entrance, opening it up to a day of minimal sales. Switching on the signs and lights, Marianne moved to the register where she would begin counting the drawers. Her hip bumped into the counter, the startling pain causing her to drop her coffee, spilling it everywhere. She groaned, her hopeful day not off to a good start. She bent down to pick up the cup, only to have a new one grace the corner of her eye. 

“Don’t worry. I have an extra.” Marianne peered up to the familiar face of the eccentric customer she helped a few days before. 

“Th-thank you.”

“I hope you like caramel macchiatos.”

“Yes. Very much actually.”

“I never gave you my name before, I’m Hilda. I’m not sure if you remember me.”

“I do.”

“Oh thank god. Otherwise this would have been _really_ awkward.”

“You were hard to forget,” Marianne chuckled lightly.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“So… what can I help you with?”

“Oh! Oh no, I just wanted to thank you again for the other day.”

“It was no trouble, really!”

“It wasn’t nothing. You threw yourself under the bus for us.”

“Nothing I told my boss was out of the ordinary.”

“Even so,” Hilda took a quick breath before continuing, “There was something else I wanted to ask.”

“Y-yes?” Marianne babbled, nerves firing on all cylinders. 

“My friends and I are having a little post-holiday Christmas... Hanukkah... shindig tonight. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come?”

“Oh! Well. I appreciate the offer, but I have a lot of trouble making friends…”

“Ah, don’t worry about it! I know it’s a little weird. I’m pretty much a stranger and-”

“No! I think I would actually like to come.”

“I’m sure you have better things to do anyway and- Wait. You want to come?”

Marianne shyly nodded, “I’d love too.”

“Uh, wow! Great! I’ll write you down the address and… my number?”

“Please!” 

“Awesome. Feel free to come over anytime after seven!”

“S-see you then!” 

Hilda nodded, shooting a wink as Claude had taught her, and practically skipped out of the store, giddy as a schoolgirl. Marianne spent the rest of her shift humming to herself, and much to her manager’s surprise, did not cause a single accident for its entirety. 

\- - -

“Don’t tear the paper Raphael! We can still salvage it and use it again.”

“Sorry Leonie! I just get so excited!”

“Well anyway, I hope you will find a use for them,” the redhead sighed.

“Of course I will! These are perfect!” Raphael exulted, admiring a set of worn boxing gloves his friend had just gifted him.

“They’re my old pair from back when I boxed. I didn’t have a lot of extra cash to spend this year…”

“That’s even better! The age gives them character. Thanks Leonie!” The lovable brute pulled his friend into a big hug. Ignatz, Claude, and Dimitri sat nearby, laughing at the exchange.

“I told you he’d love it Leonie!” Ignatz cheered.

“Alright sweetheart, your turn,” Claude turned towards his partner, “This is from yours truly.”

“Ah, you shouldn’t have!” Dimitri mocked.

Claude retorted by plastering a renegade gift bow on Dimitri’s head. “Just shut up and open it.” Dimitri proceeded to awkwardly tear away at the equally-awkward wrapping paper encasing the gift. It was revealed to be a blue tie, decorated with little cartoon lions. Dimitri gently held the gift in his palm, beginning to sniffle.

“Claude… I…. I…”

“So, what do you think?”

“I LOVE IT!” Dimitri wailed, falling into his embarrassed lover’s arms. Hilda rolled her eyes, amused, at the spectacle. The exchange of gifts continued; Raphael got Ignatz a new set of artist pens, who got Hilda a bracelet fashioned with her birthstone. Hilda got Leonie a set of pint glasses depicting her favorite college basketball team that she barely managed to nab at the mall. On the other side of the room Sylvain gifted Felix a hand-crafted knife for his collection, Felix got Ingrid a collector’s edition of her favorite novel, and Ingrid got Sylvain tickets to an upcoming rock concert. The highlight, however, was Dimitri’s gift to Claude: a giant golden tapestry of two deer running through a forest, to hang on the wall above his bed. 

“I hope it suffices,” Dimitri asided in anticipation.

“Ah, come ‘ere you!” Claude wrapped his hand around his lover’s neck, priming him for a kiss. They locked lips for a moment before pulling apart, Claude taking notice of Hilda staring longingly at the front door in the process. She nearly jumped at Claude placing a comforting hand over her knee.

“She’ll show up. I’m sure of it.”

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Come on, join us for a game. It will make the time go quicker.” 

An hour passed. Sylvain and Leonie became buzzed from alcohol-laced eggnog. Dimitri, Raphael, and Felix shared sports-related stories from their time as college athletes. Claude and Ingrid were at odds in an intense game of Sorry, opting to only go after each other, seemingly forgetting Hilda and Ignatz were also playing. The rivals were arguing over whether or not you could fall back out of the game’s safety zone once you reached it when the doorbell chimed. Hilda bolted for it, nearly knocking over Leonie, who lived there, from trying to answer it herself.

“Marianne! You’re here!”

“Oh thank goodness it’s you. I knocked on, like, three wrong houses before finding this one.” Hilda could only chuckle at the thought, noticing how beautiful she looked with her hair pinned-up. Marianne took care to take off her shoes, while Hilda admired her sweater. It was holiday-themed, green with little red birds playing in the snow.

“I found it at work. I was surprised no one bought it.”

“It’s adorable,” Hilda gushed, offering her hand, “Here! I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Marianne began to accept the gesture, then hesitated upon hearing the amount of commotion emanating from the neighboring room. 

“That… that sounds like a lot of people.”  
“Don’t worry. I promise they are super nice. Besides, I’m positive they will just adore you.” The confidence Hilda carried was enough to convince a flustered Marianne to step outside her comfort zone, right into welcoming cheers.

“There’s our guest of honor!” Claude announced, “I’m sure you haven’t forgotten me. The name’s Claude, and this is my partner Dimitri.”

“Nice to meet you!” 

“Likewise,” Marianne stated, accepting their handshakes. 

“Oh! And this is Leonie, Ignatz, Raphael, Ingrid, Felix, and… Sylvain!” Hilda chimed in.

“Oh my, hello everyone. I will do my best to remember all of your names.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it! Can I offer you a drink? We have sparkling apple cider,” Leonie said warmly, patting the new guest on the back. 

“Uh, yes! That sounds amazing, thank you.”

Leonie crossed to the kitchen as Sylvain piped up, “Hey Marianne! We were just about to play some Uno. Would you like to join us?”

“Sure, I love Uno!”

The gaggle of friends swarmed around the deck of cards, sprawling out on various couches, chairs, end tables and spots on the carpet. They played several rounds, taking care to share plenty of stories and jokes along the way. Marianne’s natural affinity towards being discreet proved quite advantageous, as she secured the victory on several rounds. After praising her for being the Uno champion, the group settled down to a cheesy holiday movie. Barely twenty-minutes in Sylvain and Leonie were passed against each other on the loveseat. Felix, Ingrid, Raphael, and Ignatz all relaxed on the main couch, warmed under a large, crochet blanket. Dimitri stretched out on a recliner, Claude on his lap, with arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist. 

Finally, on the floor in front of the couch sat Marianne and Hilda, sharing their own blanket. During one of the especially heartwarming scenes of the movie, Hilda bravely allowed her fingers to find Marianne’s. Slightly startled, but not offended, Marianne accepted, gazing over at Hilda who gave her a comforting smile. Marianne’s cheeks dusted with crimson, and she bashfully rested her head on Hilda’s shoulder. It was incredibly sweet, and, well, for lack of better phrasing it caused Hilda’s heart to explode. It was corny to think, but this whole scenario, surrounded by good friends and a cute girl, was possibly the best holiday present of all, and she loved every minute.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually quite fun! (Possibly because I was slightly intoxicated while writing part of this.)
> 
> I have a soft spot for cheesy holiday stuff, but it's always suffocatingly heterosexual. So, I wanted to write a piece with that type of feel, but with two of my favorite LGBT+ ships in Fire Emblem. 
> 
> The Uno reference is a bit heavy-handed, but I just couldn't resist! (Also have y'all played Stratego? If you haven't I highly recommend it.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading~!
> 
> TWITTER: @PerfectTeatime_


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